Unicorn Steak with Rainbow Sauce

$32.99 – Enjoy the impossible experience of eating the mythical unicorn. Infant horses are raised, from birth, to believe they are unicorns. A small cone is duct-taped to the nose of the foal, at birth, to simulate a unicorn horn. The horn “grows” as the horse does. As the “unicorn” grows up, it indoctrinated to […]

Beer Battered Bear

$17.99 – Only the finest North American black bear. We take farm raised black bear, bred for their aggressiveness and lightly batter the breast meat for deep frying in the finest whale oil. The stress hormones from the bear’s anger makes the meat especially tender. Served with a bear fat pan gravy and a side […]

Hare Hummus

$17.99 – Hummus made from minced hare meat, whale oil, and goat paste; baked under low heat. Comes with ostrich chips for dipping.

Bison au Gratin

$17.99 – Alternating layers of shaved bison and assorted cheese smothered in cream and baked in the oven to perfection

Piranha Pasta

$29.00 – Turn the tables on brutal piranha. We render the piranha meat off the bone with our patented piranha skelatonization process before using the piranha meat paste to make a delicate piranha linquini which is tossed with oysters and a cream sauce. We garnish the plate with a piranha jaw.

Hot Salmon Rolls in Heat

Market Price – Classic sushi rolls filled with salmon captured on the way to the spawning grounds topped with hot wasabi foam. Some say consuming salmon in such a state is cruel and unecessary. We say it increases virility. You decide! Either way, it is good eats.

Tuben-brat

$13.99 – German style tube steaks

Texas Hack Steak

$12.99 – Meat hacked fresh off the cow, cooked in the style of old frontier Texans

Pigs in a Meat Blanket

$9.99 – Patented Duke Guapos miniature pork wursts banked inside a blanket of ground beef and egg.

Boiler Beef

$10.99 – Seared meat in a style reminiscant of boiler room workers’ improvised use the boiler’s incredible heat