Poison Frog Brine Martini

$22.99 – Peruvian poison frogs are taken from the forest and soaked in a brine substance until just enough of the halucination inducing poisons have seeped into the liquid to induce a good time. The brine is bottled directly from the vat. We serve a martini which is shaken, not stirred, that will stir you […]

To Drink a Hummingbird

$18.99 – Highly prized Chocoku hummingbirds are harvested and marinated in distilled water and meat starch. After a three year fermentation process, the resulting liquor is thrice filtered. The resulting libration is best taken as a shot.

The Spicy Kumis

$7.99 – Fermented horse mare milk, doctored with our patented blend of spices which will heat you up, only to have the milk cool you down. Served cold, with or without ice.

Homemade Ice Cream

$7.99 – Ice cream, made fresh each day (flavors vary) served in a freshly fried bacon cone

Plankton Mousse

$7.99 – Classic mousse made with eggs, cream, and Pacific ocean plankton

Eagle Bacon

$29.99 – We buy the belly meat of golden eagles, harvested using simple subterfuge. Discount shopping circulars are distributed in the area surrounding the eagles’ habitat, advertising a sale on the bulk purchase of mice at the pet store. Eagles cannot turn down a good bargain. They are easily felled when approaching the fake storefront. […]

Flying Fried Duck

$27.99 – A freshly defeathered duck has its skin mechanically separated from the body before being dropped in a fryer, but not before a wire underframe is used to pose the duck in a flight position. The loose skin provides a crispy container for the flesh underneath. Using a sugar derived from duck fat, we […]

Turkey or Chicken Fricasse

$27.99 – We import some of the best Turkey and Cock fighting champions in the world and make them fight for your entertainment, tom versus rooster. The loser is your dinner.

Unicorn Steak with Rainbow Sauce

$32.99 – Enjoy the impossible experience of eating the mythical unicorn. Infant horses are raised, from birth, to believe they are unicorns. A small cone is duct-taped to the nose of the foal, at birth, to simulate a unicorn horn. The horn “grows” as the horse does. As the “unicorn” grows up, it indoctrinated to […]

Beer Battered Bear

$17.99 – Only the finest North American black bear. We take farm raised black bear, bred for their aggressiveness and lightly batter the breast meat for deep frying in the finest whale oil. The stress hormones from the bear’s anger makes the meat especially tender. Served with a bear fat pan gravy and a side […]